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User blog:HOW DARE YOU/Caesar vs Caesar
I just want to take some time out to thank you guys for responding to my last post! I really wasn't expecting that kind of response (honestly after I posted it, I thought everyone would hate it), so once again thank you. And so, I decided to make another one. But THIS time, it's about two individuals who are actually known as opposed to completely obscure. I put a LOT more effort into this one than the other one if it makes any difference to anybody. I appreciate the comments, and any feedback is greatly appreciated. ...unless it's criticism...Just kidding, but seriously tell me how to get better or if I should stop because I'm killing your brain cells. I'm just doing it for fun and don't mean to make people roll their eyes or something. Ok, now on to the main event: Julius Caesar vs Caesar from the Planet of the Apes movies. In the event itself, I added a little, story you could say to it. Both Caesars are facing off with their own armies behind them (Julius with his Romans and Caesar with his Apes) and they're about to go to war. But to clarify (if I even need to) Caesar the ape is speaking roughly at first like the more recent movie. Adding a bit of sign language while he speaks. Alright, now that that's out of the way here we go: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYY. CAESAR VS CAESAR BEGIN! JULIUS: The leader of the great Roman people has now arrived! To see who’s the better MAN, so you should really step aside. I’m showin’ off all my wealth, from my sandals to my cape. So get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape! When I was in charge, my great nation was in its prime, As opposed to you who watched his ‘tribe’ almost shrivel and die. So apparently you’ll soon be a holy figure for fools. But I wonder how’d they react if they knew you broke the sacred rule! You’re nothing but a menace! A walking pestilence! Don’t make me go ancient Rome on your ass and toss you in with the lions. I’m the best! Pure Adonis! In comparison you’re so damn ugly! With dirty hair and stench, you’re like the uglier version of Rafiki! Silly ape, you’ve been beat with zero chances to win! ‘cause I’ve just ruined you ten times faster than Tim Burton ever did. *the music stops and J.C. turns around confidently and begins to walk away when suddenly...* CAESAR: NOOOO! *J.C. stops instantly, and slowly turns around to face Caesar, looking insulted* CAESAR: I’m done hearing you preach about yourself up on a steeple. Now you’re gonna hear from a REAL leader of his people! I would usually make peace but, war has already begun. So welcome to the second ides of March, because, as of now, you’re done. I made systems of belief and working government, While you’re only legacy is being remembered as a tyrant! You were a good man, but got consumed with power Claimed not to be a king, but became a dicator! Your men thought you a god, but I know better Gods wouldn’t get killed by someone they loved like a brother. It’s been said that the evil that men do lives after them. And seeing how worse Rome got, I’d agree one-hundred percent! If you think that you have a chance, you’ve got two things wrong. You humans still are weak while apes remain together strong! JULIUS: OY! That’s some of the worst rapping I’ve ever heard. As of now, you’ve just been slurring every one of your words! And don’t you talk to me about being betrayed, You got shot by Koba when you were getting in his way! You’re nothing more than a monkey who needs to be tamed. Who can barely even speak and disgraces my name! Shakespeare made a play about me that always brought the house down! While you’re first on-screen appearance was just a statue in the background. You’re just a shitty remake compared to the original. I’ve just buried you so deep, that you don’t even need a funeral! *J.C. snaps his finders and his Roman army surrounds the apes. Caesar lowers his head* J.C.: J.C.’s got so much fame and the power of Rome, To take down this pest easy. So pack your bags and “GOOOOOO” home. Much like any of my battles, I’ll write about whom I have just slaughtered. And right underneath your name, I’ll write “I came, I saw, I conquered.” *Caesar extends his arms to his side and an ape from behind puts the robe that Caesar wore in the statues from the original on him. Caesar then raises his head and speaks more fluently (once again, like the later original movies)* CAESAR: Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it will burn in one! I promise you, when we’re done, your only option is: run. Stabbed 23 times, each one in your back. Each representing a different quality that you clearly lack. You’re both sick in the body and sick in the head, Fainting every other minute, I’m surprised you didn’t drop dead! *Caesar reaches in his robe and tosses out a canister that releases green gas that surrounds the entire area. All of J.C.’s army begins coughing up and collapsing around him* CAESAR: Get a big wiff of that Simian Flu. Makin’ us better and smarter, while it takes out what’s left of you! But don’t worry my dear Julius it won’t affect you in the slightest. It only affects humanity. And because you’ve got none, you’ll be immune from this virus. You led small nation, while I lead a planet. Tried to pick a fight with me and, boy, you truly failed it! *Caesar raises his fist in the air* CAESAR: Savor all those victories that you held in the past, Because the time of the Planet of the Apes has come at last! *Caesar then throws down his arms and the apes behind him jump into action and we cut from that to black* WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? WRITE IN THE COMMENTS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHIN' (EVEN THOUGH I SUGGEST YOU SUBMIT THOSE SUGGESTIONS TO A MUCH MORE SUBSTANTIAL USER OF THE SITE LIKE PROBABLYNOAH OR SOMEBODY BECAUSE I JUST STARTED DOING THIS, BUT I'LL STILL GLADLY TAKE A CRACK AT WHAT YOU SUBMIT, EVEN THOUGH YOU PROBABLY WON'T AFTER READING DIFFERENT COMMENTS ON DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE THIS BUT WHATEVER IT'S JUST A PRECAUTION, Y'KNOW? NO? YES? I DON'T KNOW THIS IS REALLY MORE OF A ONE WAY CONVERSATION BECAUSE I'M JUST TYPING IN THINGS IN CASE--SHUT UP? OK SORRY) AND TO VOTE USE THIS FANCY POLL I'VE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THANKS TO EPICNAIL AND MINIPOP56. VOTE HERE! Julius Caesar Caesar Category:Blog posts